Monday, August 31, 2009

yuck, yuck, yucky

What a lousy weekend.

I am all kinds of twisted in my head.

What is going on?

I went to an acupuncturist Saturday for my first ever treatment.  I had a massage there last week and it is a nice environment, welcoming, peaceful, very healing-feeling.   The acupuncturist brought me into the room and asked me about my reasons for wanting to have acupuncture.  I dunno, I just want to feel better.  As I was talking with her I could feel my emotions so raw and close to the surface, sooooo close, and if she didn't hurry up and move onto something else...nope, too late.  Tears start flowing and she was very kind and gentle and let me talk and then put me on the table and decided which treatment to use.  And I could barely stop crying.  Once I was acupunctured (?), she left the room and the tears keep coming.  I cried for a good 20 minutes.  About me.  About the pain and crap my family has been through and continues to go though as the result of a horrible person who was in our lives and continues to be, in some part, in our lives, especially with the upcoming crap on September 16th.  About the mean, awful roommate my sister is having to deal with that she so does not deserve.  About my hated job and feeling stuck in this miserable job.  About always being worried about money - are we ever going to be able to not worry?  And on and on.

I felt lousy for the rest of the day, picked fights off and on with J., had an upset stomach all weekend, had a delicious brunch yesterday with J. and H., then came home and went to sleep.  Stayed home from work today with this stomach thing.  I'm sick.  I don't know if I'm really physically sick or just mental.

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